If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
