can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
