I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
