I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
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Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So here I am, sexting at work.
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