I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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