You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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