I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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