I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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