i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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