Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
