The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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