we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
