I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
