Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
