He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
