And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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