oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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