end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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