i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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