Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
