kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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