He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
