Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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