More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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