Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
