We're facebook friends in real life
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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