Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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