And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
