Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
