How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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