the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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