oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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