Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
