dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
