Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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