If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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