I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
