i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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