Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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