Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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