how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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