CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
