Kareoke will never be a sober sport
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
