halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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