If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
