The maid of honor just puked.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
OPIZZABONMYDICK
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
