I cockslap morals
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
