He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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