Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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