the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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