I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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