The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
