She is in my trunk
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
