would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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