Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
