I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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