Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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