this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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