Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have aggressive nipples.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
