i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
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Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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