try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How external is "for external use only"?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
